I’m Not In Bermuda
I was supposed to be in Bermuda today. Thirty years ago, on our honeymoon in Bermuda, we met a couple at dinner one night who was celebrating their 30th Wedding Anniversary. I remember thinking how great it would be if Jim and I were able to spend our 30th Wedding anniversary their as well. I carried that tiny thought with me for thirty years. But today, I’m not in Bermuda.
Life has brought change and change…well, it changes things!
If you’ve heard me share my story about James, then you’ve heard me I say, “I could kick and scream and stay angry over something little like having a broken dryer or having a child with Down syndrome. Either way, without acceptance you stay stuck.” And so today I’m reminded that the same principle applies to divorce and brain aneurysms. Kick, scream, be angry – or get grateful and keep moving. My choice. Henry Wadsworth Longfellow put it this way,
“For after all, the best thing one can do when it is raining it let it rain.”
Yesterday, the neurosurgeon confirmed that the aneurysm is in the very center lower part of my brain. They will do a CTA Scan on July 13th with dye to get a better look and decide what to do to resolve it. I still feel an enormous amount of peace. And receiving all your messages and texts and phones calls have really helped! (Big hugs and thanks to you my FB family, because of you I’m down to one nap a day and I actually showered yesterday!) Even so, I have reminded God that I’m pretty sure I’m nowhere near as strong as She thinks I might be and to kindly reconsider sending any future curve balls my way. Then She laughed and gently implied that it’s Her plan not mine and it’s best if I just… let it rain. Walk it in. Jump in the puddles. Taste the raindrops on my tongue.
Yesterday my dear friend gave me an entire box of home-made toffee, otherwise known as crack. I ate half. I think today I will eat the other half, at the pool, watching James swim. Not Bermuda, but yet so beautiful.