I was seventeen. She was fifty-six. And the doctor said cancer. Back then, it was a death sentence. And two months and eight days later, she was gone.
I have spent my entire life with mixed emotions about this day, and today is no different. I am honored to be James’ mom and I celebrate that gift! But this morning, as I sit here alone in the quiet, (James is spending half this day with his beautiful Grandmother) I am a bit sad and angry about the way it all went down. Okay, a lot sad and angry.
Those of us who lost our mothers young, we were challenged to handle the milestone moments in our lives with a big gaping hole announcing her absence. We walked down wedding aisles with our fathers, to look and see no one sitting where our mom should have been. We tried to duplicate recipes, and ended up with things that were “not quite right” because of the one secret ingredient she didn’t write on the index card. We took graduation photos with only one parent. We birthed children, held them in our arms, and for the first time understood how much our mom loved us, even though she wasn’t there to tell us.
(Okay, except maybe in regards to the recipe, I think she’s probably laughing her ass off that I still can’t make her Slovenian Cucumber gravy just right!)
But she did love us.
And she lives on in our spirits. In our smiles. In our determination. And In our resilient, grief-birthed strength. Strength that was forged in the pain. We are sad today, because she left us. But the loss of her has made us a much stronger version of ourselves then if she was still here to be a Grandma to our children.
If you’re like me today, with one foot in joy and one foot in grief, know that you are not alone. I know she’s right there with you.
I have been dying to write this post for months… and I finally can share the news. (This is primarily for all my Nashville peeps or those visiting this great city from out of town!)
I can’t tell you how often I am asked, “When are you ever going to play in town?” Well… the day has finally arrived!!!
Nashville now has an authentic, fabulous, awesome, fun, music-filled BAVARIAN BIERHAUS! Located at Opry Mills, you can now drink and eat like you are at the real Oktoberfest in Munich – all year long!
And I, along with my band – The N.P.G.’s (Nashville Polka Guys) – yes I bribed them to play with free beer – will be there multiple times throughout the month of May. (5,6,12,13,26 6-9pm)
Check out their website for more info http://bierhausnashville.com and come join the fun!
Bring your parents, your kids, your grandpa and see what all the fuss is about. There’s German Beer, German food, and if you twist my arm, I may let you tip us a lot to play the chicken dance. (hehe)
See you soon!
So today is Mr. Vince Gill’s birthday! I thought I’d post this video from a show we did together last year. It’s the song Tom Douglas and I wrote about James, “He Will Never Be” and it was perfo
rmed at a benefit for the Nashville Mental Health Association (Jammin’ to Beat the Blues) at the Ryman. You can’t really see me or Vince… but when the sol
o hits – there is no doubt that Vince’s talent is one of a kind and so recognizable and perfect! #grateful
Here’s a short video we did on what the memoir is about. It’s CRAZY to think that this book started just a few years ago on this blog and now it’s in bookstores and on bookshelves all over the world!
Take a look…someone with something extra makes a special appearance!